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Look, I Didn’t Even See GREEN BOOK, But I Can Already Tell You It’s Not A Better Movie Than BLACK PANTHER 2

I jest, of course, with the false equivalency; some films are meant to spawn sequels and some aren’t. There probably will never be a ROMA II or a RETURN OF THE BLACKkKLANSMAN. It is all but certain there will be a BLACK PANTHER 2, and provided that the world doesn’t blow up + Ryan Coogler…

10 Karaoke Culture Phenomena That Are Actually Pretty Neat (Narration For An Uncompleted Documentary)

1) Authentic music appreciation. Look, Britney Spears can’t possibly enjoy performing “Baby One More Time” anymore, because she’s sung that one a trillion one more times in her life. I believe she no longer feels the same way about it. But the person who karaokes “Baby One More Time,” perhaps, still genuinely loves that song. They’ve performed…

MULAN Is Still The Wokest Disney Princess Movie Your Kid Hasn’t Seen 600 Times Yet

To be fair, it’s a really limited genre, but it’s also no contest: MULAN is by far the most progressive-minded cel-animated Disney Princess film, while also performing its essential sedative-hypnotic function on your child’s developing emotional vocabulary. (POCAHONTAS argues for a distant second, but the underlying genocide story is so far our of Disney’s natural…

ANXIOUS AUBADE no. 12 (a poem about meeting people)

(An aubade, traditionally, is a poem of leaving, or parting, particularly in the early morning.) ANXIOUS AUBADE XII When I see someone approaching whom I can’t read or recognize,I refer to the mantra of my stripper friend.She recites a pep-talk of self-weaponizationfor a person of average strength.Her professional naked person’s psalm goes like this:(I may be…