THE FLASH FINALE NOT TAKEN
by Robert (Killer) Frost
Two timestreams diverged at a Yellow Flash,
And sorry I could not travel both
And become a superhero while also preventing my mother’s murder in the past
I asked Joe West (who was also on that TV show SMASH)
And he gave his usual awful advice, against his oath.
So we built a time machine, on Dr. Well’s dare,
Because at S.T.A.R. Labs we’re basically Marvel’s A.I.M.,
Where we help the villain by making Metron’s Mobius Chair;
While Iris looks on with a vacant stare
And Cisco references a Douglas Adams novel by name.
And on Caitlin and Firestorm’s wedding day
Were references to both the costume ring and Silver Age Flash’s winged hat.
“Screw the future,” I heard Eddie say!
Yet I opened that wormhole and dashed away
With an arbitrary 1:52 seconds to come back.
And when I get there I let my Mom die
So that I could have a big cathartic crying scene at her expense.
Eddie shoots himself and a black hole opens in the sky** —
I put on my hero face and say, “I have to try.”
And that also made absolutely no fricking sense.
** The very silliest part of this episode is when Caitlin asks, “What’s a singularity?”
Dude, you’re a mad scientist at S.T.A.R. Labs, you know what a singularity is.